Freaking out!

My appointment with the neurologist is less than 12 hours away and I'm freaking out. I want to know what's going on with me, but I'm afraid to find out. I'm afraid it will be MS. I'm afraid it will be something worse than MS. I'm worried that I won't get any answers tomorrow and I'll be left wondering if I have MS until I do, or don't, get sick another time. I'm scared it will be something worse than I have even imagined. I know that the probability of me having anything too serious is pretty low, but I'm still scared. Stats aren't doing anything to calm me even though they usually do. I've been panicking and trying not to panic... I just want to be able to get to sleep so I can forget about all this stuff until morning. I wish I could just have a hug. I don't usually like hugs and find them uncomfortable, but I want one now. I want to feel like everything is going to be OK. I don't like other people to see me upset, but I really wish I weren't alone right now. I wish I had someone here to comfort me and make me feel safe.

Lovely...

Well, I've moved out on my own and have managed to keep myself sane! It was a rough 3 weeks before I started to adjust, but I think I've settled in now. I start college next week and I'm getting excited about that. I also found out, just a couple hours ago, that I might have MS. I was dizzy and feeling pretty terrible so I went to the hospital. The doctor did some neurological tests, checked my reflexes, asked me some questions, and then went off in a huff. He ordered bloodwork, which was fine. I thought that was good, but he told me that he was looking for a less serious cause of my symptoms and that it might be MS. I see a neurologist on Thursday, he has the results of my MRI. I'm pretty freaked out. I don't know what to think. What do I do if I have MS? It hasn't sunk in yet, really.